A Celebration Of The Homeless

He shuffled out of the bedroom and said, “I’ve got two stiffies this morning.”

“You what?” She responded, “A tooth fitting!?”

“ No, no, my knees!”

That’s a real story. It occurred a few minutes ago right in this room. This getting old has its moments. Thankfully I’m still alive enough to have a sense of humour. When that’s gone, so too will I be. Today is the 21^st, the shortest daylight hours of the year. The official solstice is at 01:27 UTC tomorrow morning. There’ll be palm trees swaying in the breeze before we know it and parrots squawking at dawn.

Meanwhile I’ve been out in my cold, cold garage overhauling my wee genset. These new ones are amazing. They’re tiny, they’re quiet and produce electricity for hours on one tank of fuel. I have an “app” on my mobile phone which lets me monitor load, remaining fuel and allows me to shut the machine off remotely. It has not been running perfectly so I decided to remove the tiny carburetor for a good cleaning. So! Try jamming your gnarly old paws into that thing, while holding a wrench. It’s like trying to do brain surgery on a kitten, through the rectum! I succeeded. tt runs fine now but there were contemplations about the price of a new generator. Think green, bic it!

Christmas shopping is at full frenzy. Folks are lined up in the grocery store buying their festive spam and the elite may be able to manage a sack of gizzards. Gull or turkey, who knows? While truly thankful that I’m not in Gaza, or the Ukraine, I wonder how this will end. Most folks in our culture don’t even know how to plant a potato. Damn we are spoiled and soft! In my favourite auto parts store a man was buying a full case of WD40 in spray cans. I complimented him on his clever Christmas shopping and wondered how long it would take to gift wrap each can. He told me that products in aerosol cans were being banned and he wanted to lay in a rest-of-his-life stock. Hmmm. As if the company was closing its doors! I wonder if he scooted on to pick up a case of toilet paper. We’ve been there before! And if you live on an island… with a belly full of turkey spam! Yer gonna need it.

Here in Ladysmith, the town throbs with Christmas lights, and they love special interest activities. One is to drive around town, and around, and bloody around with fire trucks and wailing sirens. The poor dogs howl their asses off and grumpy old men fume. What the hell sirens have to do with peace on earth is a total mystery. But then our neighbour has a pulsing, garish light display that looks like the crash scene of a 787.

And so now I’m writing on December 24^th. Everyone is out there rushing about on their final Christmas missions and I’m half a pot of coffee into my dawn watch. After a while I realize that the dull pallor is as good as it gets. It’s time to get out and walk the dogs before a heavy rain begins again. I wish everyone a happy traditional Christmas and that you all have someone to give a gift to. Fleas navigate and bumhug to all. Don’t let it make you swell up too much.

Christmas is built upon a beautiful and intentional paradox; that the birth of the homeless should be celebrated in every home.h G.K. Chesterton

Author: Fred Bailey

Fred is a slightly-past middle age sailor / writer / photographer with plenty of eclectic hands-on skills and experiences. Some would describe him as the old hippy who doesn't know the war is over. He is certainly reluctant to grow up and readily admits to being the eternal dreamer. He has written several books including two novels, 'The Keeper' and 'Storm Ecstasy,' as well as 'The Water Rushing By', 'Sins Of The Fathers', 'The Magic Stick', as well as an extensive inventory of poetry, essays, short stories, anecdotes and photographs. His first passion is the ocean, sailboats, voyaging and all those people who are similarly drawn to the sea. He lives aboard 'Seafire' the boat he is refitting to go voyaging, exploring new horizons both inner and outer. This blog is about that voyage and the preparations for it. In spite of the odds against it, the plan is to sail away this fall and lay a course southward. If you follow this blog your interest may provide some of the energy that helps fuel the journey. Namaste Contact him at svpaxboat@gmail.com View all posts by Fred Bailey