We’re in the pink. Individual cherry blossoms are very pretty too.
Have you ever noticed that when someone dies they instantly become the finest person who ever lived? Every evening, victims of tragedies are suddenly remembered as everyone’s friend, always a happy soul, always bent over helping people, their presence enriched everyone’s existence. They did no wrong and what’ll we ever do without them? It doesn’t matter what brought their end, even a drastic accident where they were driving like a moron or indulging in a criminal activity. No matter what sort of pathetic arsehole they were or even if they were a blight on the whole of humanity now that they are dead, they were a diamond. What brought them to this tragedy? A poor victim of society indeed!
In the shelter of Valdez IslandAn Austin America, late sixties. A Mini 850 made-over specifically for the US market to compete with the VW Bug. All this time later this is a rare sight in cosmetically good condition. Even the original lemon colour. They were a bit ahead of their time and would soon be replaced by a funny little car called a Honda Civic. Everyone knew that too was a passing fade. Ha!
Then there are the prominent politicians. Brian Mulroney was one. We planted him last Saturday. I didn’t know him personally but I certainly recalled how everyone loved to hate him. I recall him being regarded as ruthless, insensitive and arrogant. I recall that as a politician, many in Western Canada regarded him as typically Eastern and without empathy for anything out of sight of the skyline of Toronto. It was, apparently, a grand funeral, a state ceremony with a singing granddaughter and a recording of the man’s own voice canting out ‘We’ll Meet Again’ as his carcass was hoyed out to his grave. (Spike Milligan and Vera Lynn must have been gigglling in the corner) What that last song had to do with sending off a Canadian politician bemuses and offends me. Well, I guess it was his last gig. We could install a looped recording of his song at the gravesight.
Avowed an Irish kid from Baie Comeau (Iv’e lived and worked there, it was not an Irish town although perhaps somewhat Catholic) he was processed in a grand style in the biggest Catholic Church in Montreal. Now he’s under a green lawn with a soccer team’s worth of other priviledged stiffs. There are, take note, several other tothering old politicians shuffling towad the head of the line. Keep that song book handy.
Rise up and kiss the sun. A lovely bit of carving beside the fish ladder.Spring slink. A pair of mergansers tuck in their heads and scoot silently past a screen of budding willows. They’re shy but beautiful birds.
I won’t be buried. There’s just not enough money for that environmentally unfriendly effort, my personal dogma doesn’t believe in it and who would listen to a recording of my gastric eruptions? I certainly could never carry a tune in a gut bucket. So yes, next please! Death may be what brings some recognition for my writing efforts and my photography but really, Fred who? Just another old fart from the Last Nations.
It happens to the best of us.
Look at it this way.
On Spike Milligan’s headstone: “I told you I was sick.”
Be Prepared To Stop. What moron wrote that sign? Surely no idiot who ever sat behind a steering wheel thought, “That’s it. I’m never going to stop again!” The whole premise of operating any machine is knowing when, where and how to stop. The biggest pedal among your controls: it’s for the BRAKES! But then there are many flavours of God’s children whom I have not yet met.
If you need to be a round within a square, may you have sharp edges
There is probably a law on the books about not being prepared to stop. In fact, somewhere beneath the seventh basement floor of our government buildings is The Department Of Laws Not Yet Written. So, somewhere there is a Minister of Lawlessness. It is right down the hall next to the Ministry Of Stupidity. Then there’s the department of NAFTA. Not A F…ing Thing’s Allowed.
Ducks and swans in the soggy edge of the fieldThe tops of these willows mark high water mark of last year’s freshet on the Chemainus River. That is NORMAL! It is not the sign of an apocalypse. Our abundance of water is a luxury we take for granted. Now think Gaza!Is this the second start of the Ladysmith Maritime Society? It actually looked like much like this once before. What a tragedy!Remember my best pal Jack? Over two years since his passing here he lays in peace in a place he loved.
As you roll down your driver’s window the police officer says, “I could see you were not prepared to stop.”
“Hell no. Thought I’d keep on going until my wheels fell off.”
“Thet game yer tryin’ to play, is that PICKLEBALL?” “Uhuh! It’s illegal!”
“Smiling permitted only if wearing a facemask. If we can see your teeth, you’re dangerous!”
Slow children playing. Caution. Be careful for whom? Me or them. If they’re slow, why’d you let them go out on the road? Do they have weapons? Other signs leave me scratching certain body parts. How about: For sale by owner? So who the hell else can sell it? Oh you’ve got an agent to peddle it for you! Did you know that?
All of the above were within a 100 metre radius at one end of the same campground. Have a nice time!Here’s an old friend. Blah, blah,blah,blah.
In Mexico there is a sign which drives me mad. TOPĔ. It means that somewhere ahead there might be a monster speed bump. Up to two metres long, they call also be up to twenty centimetres high. Jamn on your brakes, those puppies can rip the guts right out of your vehicle. You can see how the tops are ground down from the impact of hurtling masses. They could be called Grindems. Buses and commercial trucks seem to take on topěs with full gusto, there is a way of hitting hard-enough that apparently works. Don’t look back.
Topĕs may be at the sign, or anywhere beyond or nowhere at all. Clearly, it’s the sign that makes drivers frantically slow down. Job done. The worst of those bastards are somewhere down the road where you’ve forgotten about the bloody sign. WHAM! Often there’s an angry Mexican driver behind you blaring their horn because you’re messing with their rhythm as you stand on your brakes too late. It must be one reason so many down there can’t seem to drive without screaming radios. Drown it all out! Bachĕs (potholes) are more frequent but come with no signs. Vibradorěs are a series of small topěs designed to make it sound as if all the tires on your vehicle have been shredded. Sometimes there are signs for them. There are also Militarĕs which may come with a variety of signs. There is no doubt when you’ve found one. Often there is a length of 6′ ship’s hawser snaked back and forth across the pavement. There is also a gaggle of young men in military costumes with machine guns and at least one wide-eyed fellow sitting in the back of a truck pointing a .50 cal mini-cannon between your eyes. You WILL slow down!
Lawlessness? Don’t ask questions. Gringo-think does not work here.
Funny how a comment on silly signs leads directly to Mexico. I love that place and the obvious contempt for law and order. There are times when it is nice to believe that everyone is playing with the same rule book. Other traffic signs which bemuse me are thos warning of a “Dead End” or “No Exit.” Go down there, you’ll never be seen again. Really!? It seems in this cold real world there is a law and a sign against everything. Use a little humour folks, tell us what’s allowed, perhaps even approved of.
Perhaps the most memorable sign I can recall was in, yep, Mexico. It was at a crocodillerio, a place where crocodiles are raised and protected. These salt-water beauties can get up to 16′ in length. There’s no doubt that these are the last of the dinosaurs. I don’t believe they operate with any morals or conscience. Eat! It’s all they know. A hand- painted illustration showed a sad fat lady holding up a dog leash with an empty collar. The polite and graphic message was clear. Peligroso!
Tonight I have my little trailer parked in a commercial camping ground. It is not like meself to pay for this diminutive priviledge. The notion is to spend a couple of nights here using all systems and debugging any imperfections before heading into the back of beyond. So far, so good. I understand that when people pay for the priviledge of parking here, they expect serenity. So there is a long list of rules which come with the map to your parking slot. It’s simple. No nuthin’. Have fun. God help dog owners. More rules. Arf! Tires constantly crunch back and forth on the on the gravel paths, all day all night. An interesting observation is that many of these psuedo homes have Cadillacs parked in front. There’s a statement.
Pals. They haven’t seen a sighn yet that impresses them, well maybe they’ve peed on a few.Yak attack. This model 3 is Russina/Chinese designed and built. There were rugged trainer/fighters and make a desirable private plane. The throb of their engine is music in the sky.
It is just not for me to have an Rv so that you can park neatly parallel 4 meters from your neighbours. I enjoy being where no-one else is. Here folks have subtle ways of telling you that they were here first. As if I give a toss. Clearly, living in a frail trailer has become a culture of people who cannot, or are afraid to, live in a more permanent home. Aside from the mantle of rules there other inconveniences. For example, living in an Rv park ten kilometres from town on a divided highway with the nearest turnaround to go back toward town yet another ten kilometres down the road. So, that forgotten box of fruit loops requires a minimum fifty km drive. Porridge again! Then there are the tornados! Perhaps a viable new television series could be “Geezer Park Games.” Move over Bubbles. Could these be the same people, who fifty years ago, were called hippies? Peace man!
May you have beesGotcha!I’ll be watching.
“Any fool can make a rule And any fool will mind it.”
Heading out. The view from my Astoria motel room. Sliding under the Columbia River Bridge, within the hour she’ll be over the Columbia Bar, will have dropped off her pilot and be setting a heading for somewhere in Asia. Magic! The white exhaust means she’s switching over to burn Bunker C, a thick, toxic fuel oil which is much cheaper to burn.Streaming artifical intelligence?The bogman goes to town. Astoria is a fascinating town to visit, with shops, restaurants, architecture and scenery which should interest everyone.I can only guess the rest of the story. Astoria, like most Westcoast communities has its share of dead-end stories. I don’t think this was one, vbut there was no sign of happiness here.
February 28th sees a torrential rain with dire warnings for the whole day. I messed around until noon, waiting for the rain to ease before taking my two wee dogs out for their daily walk. They waited patiently. When I was finally getting ready to go, I discovered a very neat dogpile on the floor in front of the toilet. Now that’s a clear, simple political statement. Dogs can teach us so much!
Local talent. Roosevelt elk are indigenous. At Fort Smith they provide an organic solution for cutting and fertilizing the lawns.Coffee Blues. Buildings are painted boldly in Astoria, there’s a taste in cuisine and music for everyone.This forepeak will never go to sea again. The old hull has some fine lines, but no living thing goes on forever.Home, Sour home. Someone’s shelter. The garbage seethed with fat, brown rats.Hooped. Art without intent.Little boxes. No more buzzing in the crossed wires.Mechano Spawn. The art galleries are fabulous. I could have spent thousands.
I’m home again after a grand weekend in Astoria at the annual Fisher Poets gathering in Astoria. From Ladysmith it is a three hundred mile drive plus a twenty-five mile ferry ride. All went well, my readings were well-received, I was MC at one event and met up with old friends and new. Astoria is a delightful town and my one regret, as usual, is heading home again so soon.The weather, for once, was decent, but Highway 101 south of the town named Forks, has deteriorated badly, so with ferry connections the trip is the best part of a day each way.
OK!?Retro town. The cherished architecture of Astoria is grand.Poke On InAn old railcar is slowly recycling itself.Wanna buy some good used chain? Each link is about 10″ long.Snappy HourDennis performs. He’s hilarious! The event has grown to present over 100 readers and musicians.Doreen is in her nineties. She’s eloquent, fresh and feisty. Many of the younger performers are also incredible.I stop to talk with pretty girls. This is Stella.Astoria has several excellent Mexican restaurants, ‘El Jarrocho’ is the newest and is fantastic.Hung by the river. Some old rigging from days gone by. The pigeons love it.Keeping up appearances.I wannit! Left-hand steering; an ultimate 4×4 truck.The line. Ships anchor in the Columbia River to take on cargos as far inland as Idaho.“Skipper, I see fish.” A rare find, a new fishing boat under construction. The openings are for a bulb-bow and a bow thruster.
The two pm ferry trip back to Victoria meant I had to leave my Astoria motel by 06:30 and arrived in Port Angeles 6 hour later after an intense drive. That’s when the fun began. The boat did not have a large load but it would prove to be a memorable trip, especially for all those not of nautical experience. All the way from the Oregon border (Columbia River) I had been chased by an advancing cold front. Gusting blasts of wind and a heavy cold rain hounded me up the twisting route. Now it was arriving at the Strait of Juan De Fuca. Tugboaters know it as “Wanna Puka.”
The Coho swings in for a stern-to landing in Port Angeles. It was poetry in motion.This cable layer was laying at anchor facing east. Then the squall-line hit. She abruptly swung 180 degrees and settled in for the blow about a half mile from where she’d been. You can see that she’s actually heeling to a big blast of wind.The spit at Port Angeles which shelters the bay, and the open strait beyond.Let the silly walks begin.Salt water window wash. Perhaps this little girl will always remember her ride.Is this the up side or the down ?
A fierce westerly hit the bay at Port Angeles. There were no large waves but a suddenly a flat foam raced across the ocean’s surface. A small sloop with its genoa out took a serious schooling. I went to the front of the boat and took my photos and video early. I knew what was coming and did my best to keep my smirks to myself. I know the ‘M.V.Coho’ as the stout and seaworthy ship she is. Outside the buoy on the spit the plunging and rolling began. It is amazing how quickly large seas can build, especially when an ebbing tide slams into a gusting thirty knot breeze. Within minutes the passengers were practicing their silly walks, clinging to anything apparently solid. Some made their way to the front windows which were now regularly covered in inches of sea water blowing over the bow. One twit decided it would be manly to go stand at the forward flagstaff and show the world how daring he was. Fool! Most of the water was going over his head but one errant lump would have taken him overboard without a trace. I was not going out to tell him so and clearly neither were any of the crew. Those inside he thought was posing for also saw him as an idiot.
Four more goofs joined him but were soon back inside, soaking wet and hypothermic. Other passengers gave them a wide birth. Meanwhile, the stewards went around with armloads of sick sacks. Theyv’e clearly seen it all before. If you close your eyes and remember Julie Andrews singing, hear the revised lyrics: “The decks were alive with the sound of puking.” Kansas, or wherever these folks came from, will never be the same again. They’re smarter now. It is not a recommended weight lose program. This old salt wedged himself into a corner and had a nap through the mayhem. I was at home. Aaaaar Billy!
The old boat, with her keel laid in 1959, is a marvelous sea boat, completely at ease in heavy weather and never has crippling maintenance issues. I dare to guess, that with the proper maintenance she clearly gets, she may be only at mid-life. She is owned by the Blackball Ferry Line and so far as I know, is a private business with no grants or subsidies. I wish BC Ferries, a crown corporation, would have a look at how things can be done. They, whenever the wind rises above a seagull fart, tie up the fleet and constipate coastal highway traffic massively, sometimes for days.
“Thank you for sailing BC Ferries.” As if we had a choice! Now imagine if we also had to pass through customs and immigration at BC Ferry terminals. Two of our vessels were built in Europe and of course delivered here on their own keels. Surely they can handle the Strait Of Georgia. It can get darned rough, but not like Juan De Fuca.
“Traffic, Starboard bow.” Both ships followed the book of course and all was well. Cameras have a way of making waves look much smaller. This wall of water was about twelve feet tall. You know it is blowing seriously when the wind is shaving the top of the waves.
Last Sunday, the old ‘Coho’ kissed the dock three minutes late. Guided ashore prompty, I cleared customs and was home in little over an hour. Simple.
“The unavoidable price of reliability is simplicity.”– Tony Hoare
(It follows that whenever government becomes involved, simplicity, and so reliabilty, vanishes.)
